The aftermath of Needsititis...

I did it. I bought couches. Correction: I bought A couch. And 2 chairs.
They are neither chocolate brown nor leather. HOWEVER. They are sage green and microsuede. Which I find as a colour, slightly more calming, and as a material, a whole lot more cuddly. They more than likely will not survive more than 3 years, but I have accepted this and moved on from it. Like a good little furniture purchaser, I sprayed the couch and chairs down with that fabric protector stuff two nights in a row... Desperately hoping it will keep the jam-fingers at bay.

And here is a peek ;)

annnnnnnd

Mucho Bettero than....

*SHUDDER*

So the Bubonic Plague couches have not yet been destroyed. I am not sure when we will be burning them (or if we even will be...) But I can assure you that if we do, there will be photos !!!

I will be acquiring a few new peices here and there to add to the "country" ness of the room, as it just is not quite "country" enough for me yet. ITS A COMING

Text-a-holic vs Autocorrect

Good Morning Steve Jobs, way up there in the sky.

I'd first like to thank you for, like, the most bestest greaterest invention EV-ER! The iphone!! Without it, I surely would not have made it this far in life. And taht last line was completely serious....

I have a nasty bad habit of "random texting". It's chronic. It's hilarious. It's occasionally not met with the same enthusiasm by the receiving party. Raspberries to them I say!

If you are reading this, and you have received more than one single text message from myself, you will know exactly what it is I am talking about....

Actual conversation....

Me: I hate mondays!
Unnamed friend: But it's Saturday?
Me: Fully aware... but tomorrow is Sunday and the following day is Monday... I was just thinking about how much I hate Mondays
Unnamed friend: Have you ever been tested???

Actual Conversation #2

Me: Epic fail putting the open chocolate bar between my legs while I drive !!!!!
Multiple unnamed friends:  Lol

Me: Attention, this is the captain speaking... We've run out of coke and me mateys are quite parched!!
Unnamed male friend: What the hell are you talking about. Who is the captain. What does parched mean. Where are you?
Me: Do you consider yourself pretty? Cuz you better be with that brain.....


So anyway, as the "Queen of Random", I take pride in my ability to completely confuse the common man with my moment-to-moment randomness. It catches people off guard, and the wonderful thing about texting is that you cannot actually "hear" the person, so texts are completely devoid of human emotion or tone. Excellent. The same two texts could be read completely different ways, such as this one

Me: They arrested her mom!!!!!!
Mom: Why would they arrest her mom? I thought it was her that did it
Me: They arrested her, mom!!!!
Mom: oooooh. ok.

Moms are GREAT texters. Here's a hilarious little screenshot of an actual conversation  with my mom...

To tell you the truth, I felt really bad. But to tell you another truth. I laughed out loud when I realized what had transpired.... Im evil like that....

Oh and then there is the autocorrect function. I really don't know where I would be today without autocorrect. It has supplied me with endless amounts of entertainment :)

And

Honestly.... that's good stuff. Does anyone else have such wicked bad texting issues? I really don't think its possible that there is another me, or worse than me, floating around out there. Although I would love to meet said person. :)

So in conclusion, I thank all of you receivers of randomness for not just going ahead and blocking my number, and putting up with all of my pointless texts and updates through out the day.

And thank you auto correct for endless laughs. And thank you iPhone for confusing the crap out of me!!!

Thank you, Steve Jobs

Bad Case of Needsititis

So I woke up this morning thinking to myself that I really NEED new furniture. My living room furniture is ghastly, and Im quite sure that if I didn't Lysol it every day, we would all be infected with the bubonic plague. It's old. It's dirty. It's had it's day over and over and over again. It has cuddled babies, toddlers and 5 year olds, as well as adults who just really wanted to fall asleep watching that darn movie. It's seen more than it's fair share of spills and smears, and Im quite sure that if I was to explore beyond the visible reaches of the upholstery, I would see years and years of accumulated goldfish crackers, chocolate chips and the occasional butt-end of a peanut butter and jam sandwich. It pains me, it really does, that I infact need to say "Goodbye!" to the old couches of yesteryear....

......And say hello to BONDED LEATHER. It's wipeable, it's fashionable, and it's chocolate brown. It's happiness in a sofa. Plain and simple.

It has taken me a looooooong time to finally get off my wallet and make the move. But I think it will be a good one. I might actually stay home once in a while.

But this brings me to my new issue. New couches, HOORAY!! But how about that 1992 Tube TV that I am going to be watching from said couches? Is it time to part with that as well? Can I wait a few months? How about till Boxing Day? Probably not. I have a bad case of Needsititis, which is an acute onset swelling of the Needsit portion of the brain. It can feel like it is a chronic issue, however, if you push through the pain, the swelling eventually subsides, and you become ok with your life the way it is, materialistically speaking.

So while, in all of this, it sounds as though I have major entitlement issues (Don't we all??), I really just needed (yes, needed) new furniture. I could go through the list of justifications, starting with

1) I have icky sticky 2 year olds, TWO OF THEM!!

2) Leather wipes easy

3) Leather looks pretty

4) They're chocolate brown

5) I got a smokin' deal on them

6) My life has been so chaotic that I believe I do deserve a comfy place to rest, and my "boat bed" just ain't the place....

7) I'm a big girl and I am in control

I will update with photos. Before and afters of the living room. Before and afters of the couches. And during the burning (er, cremation) of bubonic plague couches.... :)