Text-a-holic vs Autocorrect

Good Morning Steve Jobs, way up there in the sky.

I'd first like to thank you for, like, the most bestest greaterest invention EV-ER! The iphone!! Without it, I surely would not have made it this far in life. And taht last line was completely serious....

I have a nasty bad habit of "random texting". It's chronic. It's hilarious. It's occasionally not met with the same enthusiasm by the receiving party. Raspberries to them I say!

If you are reading this, and you have received more than one single text message from myself, you will know exactly what it is I am talking about....

Actual conversation....

Me: I hate mondays!
Unnamed friend: But it's Saturday?
Me: Fully aware... but tomorrow is Sunday and the following day is Monday... I was just thinking about how much I hate Mondays
Unnamed friend: Have you ever been tested???

Actual Conversation #2

Me: Epic fail putting the open chocolate bar between my legs while I drive !!!!!
Multiple unnamed friends:  Lol

Me: Attention, this is the captain speaking... We've run out of coke and me mateys are quite parched!!
Unnamed male friend: What the hell are you talking about. Who is the captain. What does parched mean. Where are you?
Me: Do you consider yourself pretty? Cuz you better be with that brain.....


So anyway, as the "Queen of Random", I take pride in my ability to completely confuse the common man with my moment-to-moment randomness. It catches people off guard, and the wonderful thing about texting is that you cannot actually "hear" the person, so texts are completely devoid of human emotion or tone. Excellent. The same two texts could be read completely different ways, such as this one

Me: They arrested her mom!!!!!!
Mom: Why would they arrest her mom? I thought it was her that did it
Me: They arrested her, mom!!!!
Mom: oooooh. ok.

Moms are GREAT texters. Here's a hilarious little screenshot of an actual conversation  with my mom...

To tell you the truth, I felt really bad. But to tell you another truth. I laughed out loud when I realized what had transpired.... Im evil like that....

Oh and then there is the autocorrect function. I really don't know where I would be today without autocorrect. It has supplied me with endless amounts of entertainment :)

And

Honestly.... that's good stuff. Does anyone else have such wicked bad texting issues? I really don't think its possible that there is another me, or worse than me, floating around out there. Although I would love to meet said person. :)

So in conclusion, I thank all of you receivers of randomness for not just going ahead and blocking my number, and putting up with all of my pointless texts and updates through out the day.

And thank you auto correct for endless laughs. And thank you iPhone for confusing the crap out of me!!!

Thank you, Steve Jobs